I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
ugly people sure do ruin things
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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