he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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