Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
