Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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