Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
