the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
