ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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