At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
