only you would photoshop your dick
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
