would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
