the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
