Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
did you just send me my own nude
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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