That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
