I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
