Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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