My brain says no but my pants say off.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
