Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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