I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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