bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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