After last night, I could never be a politician.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
