omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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