just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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