Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
