well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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