oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
