sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
