I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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