Your face is a jimmy john
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
