i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
