You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
