Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
