he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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