i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
