I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
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