11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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