sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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