I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
