So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
