whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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