So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
