i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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