isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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