my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
