Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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