just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
