if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize