so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
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Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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