So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
