fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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