But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
