pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
