so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
