yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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