Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
