And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
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What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
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You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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