The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
